This is a post that I'd written for masalamommas as a guest blogger - so, how do we do it?
http://masalamommas.com/2013/05/30/mothering-twins-in-the-first-year/
http://masalamommas.com/2013/05/30/mothering-twins-in-the-first-year/
Thursday, May 30, 2013
Thursday, May 16, 2013
And just like that, we shared!
"Share!" is right there with "No!" as the most often repeated word in toddler's home! We're no exception, given that at any point in time, with twin toddlers, the rules of possession are "what my brother has, I want". The place value of a toy seems to significantly go up when it is in the hand of a sibling.
We have two pillow racers at home, a blue plan that E claimed ownership for, and a red fire truck that his brother V immediately went for. At first, I was nervous about opening it, and wanted to swap one of them out to have two identical ones, thereby guaranteeing some peace in the house. Alas, that was not to be, as the boys just ripped them apart, and started playing with them without giving me a chance at swapping them. Oh well, it will be a wonderful opportunity for teaching them sharing, I thought. I often refrain from forcing my kids to share, I don't want them to lose that joy of playing with their current favorite toy just because brother wants it, but at times, encourage them to expand their social skills by teaching them to ask politely, using please and thank you, etc. All of it I thought, was an exercise in vain, as most often, the toy would go to the kid who threw the louder tantrum!
Yesterday morning, I was in for a pleasant surprise. V, who had been eying E's blue plane for a while, and had tried using his loud voice and many tantrums to get it, totally surprised me with this behavior!
I was making chai in the morning, and overheard V point his red truck to E, saying " E - yed color" multiple times. He followed it with a "pease E". This must have melted E's heart as well, he hopped on the fire truck and gave V his blue plane, and V said a loud "thans" to his brother! The whole scene brought a tear in my eye ( yes, I am a mom and my kids make me cry, but this was different!). The fact that V actually sold the "yed car" to his bro, used his "peease" and then thanked him! Oh how I love my babies!
We have two pillow racers at home, a blue plan that E claimed ownership for, and a red fire truck that his brother V immediately went for. At first, I was nervous about opening it, and wanted to swap one of them out to have two identical ones, thereby guaranteeing some peace in the house. Alas, that was not to be, as the boys just ripped them apart, and started playing with them without giving me a chance at swapping them. Oh well, it will be a wonderful opportunity for teaching them sharing, I thought. I often refrain from forcing my kids to share, I don't want them to lose that joy of playing with their current favorite toy just because brother wants it, but at times, encourage them to expand their social skills by teaching them to ask politely, using please and thank you, etc. All of it I thought, was an exercise in vain, as most often, the toy would go to the kid who threw the louder tantrum!
Yesterday morning, I was in for a pleasant surprise. V, who had been eying E's blue plane for a while, and had tried using his loud voice and many tantrums to get it, totally surprised me with this behavior!
I was making chai in the morning, and overheard V point his red truck to E, saying " E - yed color" multiple times. He followed it with a "pease E". This must have melted E's heart as well, he hopped on the fire truck and gave V his blue plane, and V said a loud "thans" to his brother! The whole scene brought a tear in my eye ( yes, I am a mom and my kids make me cry, but this was different!). The fact that V actually sold the "yed car" to his bro, used his "peease" and then thanked him! Oh how I love my babies!
Mother's Day - hype or humbug?
Mother's Day 2013 rolled by, it was my second one after achieving "MoM" (Mother of Multiples) status. Last year when Mother's Day came by, my body was still raging with post-partum hormones, I was still trying to stay afloat and be a "good" mom, fight mommy-guilt, and enjoy my newborns in the few hours of the day that they would keep their eyes open, so when the spouse brought me a beautiful bunch of red roses, I gladly accepted them and felt pretty proud!
My mom however, warned me several years ago, against joining in on the Mother's Day hoopla! She didn't think much of this day, and believed that kids who only remembered to acknowledge their moms on one Hallmark-created celebration day in a year, were rather ungrateful. Well then, mom, thanks for solving the what-to-do-for-mom-on-Mothers'-Day problem for me!
This year, as the day arrived, and as I found myself so much more capable of thinking and pondering ( the wonders that more than 2 hours of sleep a night can do to you!), I couldn't help but wonder what Mother's Day really meant for me as a mom.
I certainly felt so grateful for having the opportunity to be a mom, I've had so much fun playing silly games, spotting squirrels, making messy finger-paintings and so much more with my kids! But, I'm still not buying the deification of mothers! Yes, we work our asses off, and still feel privileged about having the opportunity to do so at the end of a long day, but I do believe that we deserve to be treated well and pampered more often than once a year! I'd like my kids to grow up feeling loved and secure, and know that mom and dad will always be there, the doors of our home will always be open for them, but I'd like them to practice the art of showing gratitude and appreciation because they feel it from within, and not because all the TV and shopping window advertisements are asking them to! I'm also lucky in that my partner-in-parenting, the husband, is very hands-on and involved, every single day. He certainly makes brunch for us more than once a year, and I'd most certainly not like to wait for that one day in a year to feel loved and pampered!
In the spirit of Tto each their own, I'm more than glad to wish moms who do believe in celebrating Mother's Day a Happy one, regardless of what my expectations are for myself.
Life is too short to not enjoy every moment of every day, isn't it?
My mom however, warned me several years ago, against joining in on the Mother's Day hoopla! She didn't think much of this day, and believed that kids who only remembered to acknowledge their moms on one Hallmark-created celebration day in a year, were rather ungrateful. Well then, mom, thanks for solving the what-to-do-for-mom-on-Mothers'-Day problem for me!
This year, as the day arrived, and as I found myself so much more capable of thinking and pondering ( the wonders that more than 2 hours of sleep a night can do to you!), I couldn't help but wonder what Mother's Day really meant for me as a mom.
I certainly felt so grateful for having the opportunity to be a mom, I've had so much fun playing silly games, spotting squirrels, making messy finger-paintings and so much more with my kids! But, I'm still not buying the deification of mothers! Yes, we work our asses off, and still feel privileged about having the opportunity to do so at the end of a long day, but I do believe that we deserve to be treated well and pampered more often than once a year! I'd like my kids to grow up feeling loved and secure, and know that mom and dad will always be there, the doors of our home will always be open for them, but I'd like them to practice the art of showing gratitude and appreciation because they feel it from within, and not because all the TV and shopping window advertisements are asking them to! I'm also lucky in that my partner-in-parenting, the husband, is very hands-on and involved, every single day. He certainly makes brunch for us more than once a year, and I'd most certainly not like to wait for that one day in a year to feel loved and pampered!
In the spirit of Tto each their own, I'm more than glad to wish moms who do believe in celebrating Mother's Day a Happy one, regardless of what my expectations are for myself.
Life is too short to not enjoy every moment of every day, isn't it?
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