Twin-Ventures - that first year!

This is a post that I'd written for masalamommas as a guest blogger - so, how do we do it?
http://masalamommas.com/2013/05/30/mothering-twins-in-the-first-year/

And just like that, we shared!

"Share!" is right there with "No!" as the most often repeated word in toddler's home! We're no exception, given that at any point in time, with twin toddlers, the rules of possession are "what my brother has, I want". The place value of a toy seems to significantly go up when it is in the hand of a sibling.
We have two pillow racers at home, a blue plan  that E claimed ownership for, and a red fire truck that his brother V immediately went for. At first, I was nervous about opening it, and wanted to swap one of them out to have two identical ones, thereby guaranteeing some peace in the house. Alas, that was not to be, as the boys just ripped them apart, and started playing with them without giving me a chance at swapping them. Oh well, it will be a wonderful opportunity for teaching them sharing, I thought. I often refrain from forcing my kids to share, I don't want them to lose that joy of playing with their current favorite toy just because brother wants it, but at times, encourage them to expand their social skills by teaching them to ask  politely, using please and thank you, etc. All of it I thought, was an exercise in vain, as most often, the toy would go to the kid who threw the louder tantrum!
Yesterday morning, I was in for a pleasant surprise. V, who had been eying E's blue plane for a while, and had tried using his loud voice and many tantrums to get it, totally surprised me with this behavior!
I was making chai in the morning, and overheard V point his red truck to E, saying " E - yed color" multiple times. He followed it with a "pease E".  This must have melted E's heart as well, he hopped on the fire truck and gave V his blue plane, and V said a loud "thans" to his brother! The whole scene brought a tear in my eye ( yes, I am a mom and my kids make me cry, but this was different!). The fact that V actually sold the "yed car" to his bro, used his "peease" and then thanked him! Oh how I love my babies!

Mother's Day - hype or humbug?

Mother's Day 2013 rolled by, it was my second one after achieving "MoM" (Mother of Multiples) status. Last year when Mother's Day came by,  my body was still raging with post-partum hormones,  I was still trying to stay afloat and be a "good" mom, fight mommy-guilt, and enjoy my newborns in the few hours of the day that they would keep their eyes open, so when the spouse brought me a beautiful bunch of red roses, I gladly accepted them and felt pretty proud!
My mom however, warned me several  years ago, against joining in on the Mother's Day hoopla! She didn't think much of this day, and believed that kids who only remembered to acknowledge their moms on one Hallmark-created celebration day in a year, were rather ungrateful. Well then, mom, thanks for solving the what-to-do-for-mom-on-Mothers'-Day problem for me!
This year, as the day arrived, and as I found myself so much more capable of thinking and pondering ( the wonders that more than 2 hours of sleep a night can do to you!), I couldn't help but wonder what Mother's Day really meant for me as a mom.
I certainly felt so grateful for having the opportunity to be a mom, I've had so much fun playing silly games, spotting squirrels, making messy finger-paintings and so much more with my kids! But, I'm still not buying the deification of mothers! Yes, we work our asses off, and still feel privileged about having the opportunity to do so at the end of a long day, but I do believe that we deserve to be treated well and pampered more often than once a year! I'd like my kids to grow up feeling loved and secure, and know that mom and dad will always be there, the doors of our home will always be open for them, but I'd like them to practice the art of showing gratitude and appreciation because they feel it from within, and not because all the TV and shopping window advertisements are asking them to! I'm also lucky in that my partner-in-parenting, the husband, is very hands-on and involved, every single day. He certainly makes brunch for us more than once a year, and I'd most certainly not like to wait for that one day in a year to feel loved and pampered!
In the spirit of Tto each their own, I'm more than glad  to wish moms who do believe in celebrating Mother's Day a Happy one, regardless of what my expectations are for myself.
Life is too short to not enjoy every moment of every day, isn't it?

Once upon a time, I thought being a good mom meant creating a secure, loving environment for my kids, providing them healthy meals, and keeping them somewhat entertained and occupied.
Once I found out I was pregnant, that picture changed, and so drastically. Thanks to an explosion in the amount of information that is out there via books, internet, social media, blogs, etc today's mom can truly get inundated with choices! I have not really adapted any parenting philosophy, but have vowed to raise socially conscious, well mannered kids who don't waltz around with a sense of entitlement.
It was Birthday party time in our home recently! Coming from a large South Asian family, we're used to celebrating every small event was celebrated in grandeur, and are continuing to do so with out children's milestones and events too.
We've now had the pleasure of celebrating two birthdays and I must say our home can pass off for a medium sized toy store! We must have atleast 500 cars in all sizes - small, medium large, ride along, etc. A large pretend-kitchen that gives me a complex about my real one. Slides/climbers/play tents/tunnels/water table. Atleast 200 books. Blocks - Lego, Mega Blocks, wooden blocks in various sizes and shapes. Art supplies - enough for a pre-school class. The list goes on, but you get the point.
So this year, along with our Birthday invite, we requested "no presents". There was also a link to a charity that we hold close to our heart ( March of Dimes) and requested for donations to be made there. We did however buy the kids some gifts - fancy balance bikes, new clothes,etc.
I felt all chuffed about being a good mom who's raising kids who know the value of what they have, not surrounded by excesses, etc. Alas! Many of the guests who came completely ignored my plea and brought us more stuff than would fit in our car trunks and we had to request friends to help carry them home! While I do not want to deny my kids the joy of having presents for their special party day, I am at a loss as to how I can teach them value for money, value for what they have, waiting for what they want and not getting it instantly, etc!
What are your tips and tricks for that?

A day to spare in SFO? Kids in tow?

http://www.womensweb.in/articles/travel-the-world-with-kids-san-francisco/

Parenting advice I wish I had received

Things I wish people would have said -
http://masalamommas.com/2011/10/04/moms-talk-parenting-advice-i-wish-someone-had-given-me/

Corporate lessons learned at the crib

Motherhood and how it's teaching me valuable corporate lessons - guest post at masalamommas
http://masalamommas.com/2011/12/13/moms-talk-corporate-lessons-learned-at-crib/

Tips for traveling with kids - MM guest post

"Have kids, will travel" 
http://masalamommas.com/2013/03/05/tips-for-traveling-with-kids/

The two are ONE!!

..And just like that, my babies are a year old!! I to fight back tears as we were singing Happy Birthday to them, given everything we went through the past year plus, it felt like quite the milestone..

A tag!

I'm taking this tag up from Kiran.  The tag is very simple,I have to list 5 lessons that I've learnt as a mommy.
Although I'm a new mom,and do not have profound advice to offer,I thought I should take up this tag as a fun thing to do!
1. This too shall pass - There have been times when my babies have been absolutely impossible to manage,and a few hours after that,complete sweethearts! So now when I'm having a I-cant-do-this-anymore moment,I try to keep in mind that this tough moment will pass,and will be followed by a fabulous,blissful one.
2.The village - Any parenting issue I come across,there is someone who has already faced it before and dealt with it successfully. All it takes is asking,there are plenty of people willing to help.
3.ShowerPower - Just taking a quick shower is so incredibly refreshing.When I step out of the bathroom freshly showered with no spit up on me or my clothes,I feel like I am ready to take on the world!
4. The great outdoors - My babies are so small now,they still enjoy getting out of the house,be it a walk around the block or a few hours at  a friend's house.
5. Sleep is over rated - We are yet to get a full  night's sleep. Each night,we feel like we cannot possibly survive one more day like this,but somehow,the morning rolls around,and we manage to make it through the day!
There are so many times that I feel completely paranoid that I must be doing something more for the kids,that I must be doing more reading,I must be researching more about the best way to do this or that,I am fervently hoping and Praying that at the very minimum,I raise my kids to be well mannered and socially conscious. That in itself will make me proud(yes,I have very low expectations).

Stuff about parenthood that no one tells you!

My pregnancy was not all pickles and ice-cream, and my experience as a new mom has been quite the ride so far! While I've been dumped with my fair share of advice from experienced moms,new moms,my own mom and some non moms,here's stuff about pregnancy that no one told me about before.

There is something about sleeping babies that just melts away your heart. Given that I have two little ones,during those magic moments when they are both down for a nap,I can watch them for hours!

Nursing your child is an incredibly hard experience,yes,when it does finally work out,its a very special bonding experience,but at times,it leaves me feeling quite sore :(

Life as a  new mom can be terribly isolating.Being a very social person,I terribly miss all the human interaction in my daily life - be it with colleagues at work or with friends and family after work. I've been finding it awfully isolating  to  be holed up in my bedroom for the most part and welcome rare outings such as the bathroom and living areas. However,thanks to the wonderful world of social media,I've made new friends with people from all over the world and had some fun conversations!

Here's to a successful first quarter! *Clink*

The kiddos are 3 months old now! Time sure flies when you are having..err.. no sleep and so much fun? I vividly remember THE day,3 months ago. I had just been sent home after several weeks in the hospital,on strict bed rest at home. It was a rainy,cold day. We had just finished having the "its-too-hot" "No,Its your pregnancy hormones,its actually very cold" argument and had fallen asleep into a blissful afternoon nap. This was just two days post St.Patrick's day, I had been fervently hoping that I would not deliver two boys on St.Patrick's day,for fear that their livers might become prunes at the end of their its-my-birthday-AND-St.Patrick's-day binge! We woke up after a really long nap and I said what he wanted to,but was afraid of - "Is this the calm before the storm?" That was the last time in a long time that we would be sleeping so soundly for so long :)
I was craving ravioli for dinner,S went to get some groceries for dinner. My back started killing me all of a sudden,it was a very different type of pain. I called the doctor on call,she asked me to swing by the hospital to just get checked out.maybe get a pain killer for the pain,and head back home. S came back home with a cheery " I found your favorite Ravioli and garlic bread" and I greeted him with "Don't take off those shoes,we need to go over to the hospital" . We picked up the chord blood registry kits and rushed to the hospital,all the while intending to come back home and make a nice dinner.
Hmm.. The kids had other plans.From then on,they would make the plans,we were merely going to follow on :) They were born that night via C-section. It has been truly the most trying time of my life. While I was excited to meet the little creatures who had been kicking and boxing away in my belly,I was very nervous and apprehensive about their impending  NICU stay.

While its been the longest 3 months of our lives,the rewards could not have been better! As we cuddle our babies and enjoy their cute smiles today,I cannot thank our support system enough for being there for us throughout the journey!

We are looking forward to the next few milestones eagerly,I must say that the forecast for the upcoming quarter is very rosy!




 

Long time,no post..

Hmm.. Its been a long time since I updated this blog. This year began in a rather unexpected manner,nothing could have prepared us for what the past few months have spewed at us :( It all started when I went in for a routine ultrasound on the 3rd of Jan.We used to look forward to these,it was our opportunity to say hello to our babies,who up until this point,looked rather alien-ish :P The doctor found a problem and sentenced me to couch-arrest or bed rest. At a follow-up ultrasound two weeks later,the condition had far worsened and I ended up hospitalized and on the worst possible medications. From then on,the next 9 weeks were spent in a constant state of stress and worry for the health of the babies and me,going in and out of the hospital. Most of what I felt then,I would rather not remember.
Anyhow,All's well that end's well - We were blessed twice as nice with two lovely little boys. After a few weeks at the NICU,we were asked to take them home.
I've gone from counting hours and days,lying in bed,to counting the minutes before the next diaper-change-feed-burp cycle begins so that I can get all the million little things done for my tiny masters.